Friday, January 12, 2007

Master Procrastinator

I've left my job for about 4 and a half months now and one of the major reasons why I left was so that I could start personal ventures and find out exactly what I really want to do for the rest of my life career-wise. Well, after a few freelance projects, I've really found out a bunch of things about myself.

The truth is, I'm really not ready to start a business on my own. There are some fundamental things about my character that I need to change or improve before I can be a professional. And the first thing that I'm going to tackle is PROCRASTINATION. I believe I've had this problem for a long time now, but perhaps never so prevailent in a specified situation. What I mean is, for exapmle, it was never a HUGE problem while at work, sure I was late on occassion, but it didn't affect my overall performance. I am a great employee. But on the flip side, procrastination has become the fundamental problem to my struggles as a freelance designer.

Up til now, I really haven't regarded this to be such a serious thing, that it'll just pass, and I'll adapt naturally. But then I read this from wikipedia:

Procrastination is the deferment or avoidance of an action or task and is often linked to perfectionism. For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of productivity, the creation of crisis, and the chagrin of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. While it is normal for individuals to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.

The psychological causes of procrastination vary greatly, but generally surround issues of anxiety, low sense of self-worth and a self-defeating mentality. Procrastinators are also thought to have a higher-than-normal level of conscientiousness, more based on the "dreams and wishes" of perfection or achievement in contrast to a realistic appreciation of their obligations and potential.[2]

Man, when I read this, I thought, "there should be a picture of ME on this page." Theres more on this page too: and its ALL on point.

Okay, so I acknowledge it and accept it. I Richard Koh have a problem.

So what's the next step? I'm going to stop it. Well, eventually anyways as I'm sure this will take some time. Oh gosh, I'm already procrastinating!! But for real, I really need to make a change and improve myself. My career is only one of my motivators as this is also going to improve my relationships, friendships, health, money, and many other aspects of my life.

All right, time to read this:

I'll have updates of the activities I will take on to learn new behaviours and pattern shift.

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