Actually a lil worse than that, but only for now.
I recently applied for an Art Director position and went through the interview process and today the Creative Manager called me in to give me feedback. I didn't get the job. However, his feedback and grading system was thorough and for the most part very positive and encouraging. I scored quite high and it surprised him. It actually stroked my ego a bit (and that's saying a bunch coming from the most insecure, unconfident, introverted douche bag designer out there.. gaaawwd this self-degradation stuff is soo unhealthy). So I can't say that I'm entirely disappointed that I didn't get the job. Yes of course, a part of me thinks I deserve that job as much as any other candidate, but most of what I feel is a sense of movement. A sense of figuring things out for myself without having someone else hold my hand. A sense of grade. Yes a result. What matters to me the most these days is that I have results. That I've been putting in work for real and that what people think of my work matters to my growth in my career. We're not playing around anymore.. crossing my fingers all the time and just hoping that things work out in the end. This sh*t is real.. and it will work out in the end... because I am going to make it work.
1 year ago